Location of the Jig

Where, you all ask, is the jig?

It is up, my friend.

Up.


(see WhoIsChloëFilson? for details).


The Last Post:
Andrew Smith is great, and I feel that the rumours we have both heard for many years will at last come true. And although he claims that I won, he is truly the winner, because it was his idea to blogthis in the first place.

Thank you all, and have a pleasant afternoon.

(dramatic fade-out)

Geoff: Not Chloë

GeoffisnotChloe
Originally uploaded by Chloë Jasmin Filson.

I will admit that Geoff lives in my house.

But it's only for a month.

(That's how long these alternate personality flashes usually last.)

A York Student?

Using one of Andrew Smith's favourite tactics, that is of course the Google search, I have found out that Andrew Smith once received an Honorable Mention for the York University President's Prize in creative writing. This occured on 12 April 2005. Click on the title ("A York Student?") for a link to the article, which was published in the Y-file, York University's "daily bulletin".

We now know that Andrew Smith attends York University, or did attend York University at some point in the recent past, or at least snuck his way into their creative writing competition. We also know that he writes poems.

Hey wait a second, I write poems too.(see the previous post "Dr. Strangedog" for proof)

I think it's time for YOU to "quit copying" ME, Mr. Smith.


It will be interesting to see which one of us is left with our apparently mutual identity after this blog frenzy. CAN we coexist?

He Eats!

Andrew Smith eats a bun
Originally uploaded by Chloë Jasmin Filson.

Here is proof that Andrew Smith does, in fact, eat. He eats buns.

Or at least, he considers eating buns.

Geoff Thought We Already Knew Each Other

It turns out that Geoff Cameron thought Andrew Smith and I already knew each other, and were just doing this "to be funny".

How wrong you were, Geoff Cameron.

Saddle Up

Andrew Smith used to work for Jack Lenz - another who may now be added to the guilty parties list - timing music for the television show "The Saddle Club". "The Saddle Club" was a series of books about four young (around 11) female friends who all were horseback riders. The show was filmed in Australia, I believe. One of the girls had a crush on the stableboy.

I sometimes used to watch "The Saddle Club" at the request of a young girl that I used to babysit.

This connection is uncanny, and by far the most disturbing.

Guest List

Here is an updated list of guilty parties (people who know both myself and Andrew Smith):

Dave Aquilina
Laura Barkley (Mrs. Laura Proctor, as of Saturday)
Julie Benoit
Samuel Benoit
Geron Bindseil
Blair Cameron
Geoff Cameron
Craig Desson
Allister Foster
Bayan Foyle
Saba Foyle
Chris Gammage
David Parker-Katiraee
Layla Parker-Katiraee
Esther Maloney
Seumas Li McGrath
Lindsay McKye
Robin Proctor
Ilya Shodjaii-Zrudlo (apologies for the incorrect spelling of the surname)
Heather Smith
Melanie Smith (his own sister!)

It seems that no less than twenty-one people (and counting) are the minions of destiny.

Please give me a shout on the comments page if you should be added to the list.

Cameron Brothers Acknowledge Existence of Andrew Smith

Today, Geoff Cameron moved into my house. He will be staying for (only!) a month to do a summer course at Trent, and is subletting the room of my housemate, who will be leaving for B.C. tomorrow. Geoff's father and brother, Blair, with whom I've had the pleasure of being at camp, drove up today with Geoff.

Due to commentary made by Geoff and Blair about the humour of this cyberchase, it was discovered that both Cameron brothers, though outwardly handsome and charming, must now also be added to the list of guilty parties. This party is getting crowded!

Geoff also noted that Andrew Smith and Melanie Smith (siblings) "are nothing alike".

In other news, Rorry and Jeanette Cruikshank have returned from their pilgrimage to the Baha'i World Centre in Haifa, Israel. During their visit, they had dinner with Peter Smith. Peter Smith is Andrew Smith's father.

From this information we can deduce the following:

A) Peter Smith, Andrew Smith's father, is in Haifa, Israel. Geoff confirms this story.
B) Peter Smith eats dinner. Possibly even on a regular basis. Can the same be said of his offspring? Only time will tell.
C) Andrew Smith is in Toronto, Canada, but I have no idea of what, if anything, he eats.

The plot thickens.

The Other Side of the Fence

It seems that it is grass, and not me, that makes Dave Aquilina uncomfortable. I feel that this is an important distinction to make. Perhaps it is explained by the fact that he lives in the city? Perhaps having met me only once, and having sat on grass only once, he may have confused the two? One thing is clear: I am not grass.

Personally, it was not Dave Aquilina, or the grass, that made me uncomfortable that summer evening long ago; it was the chill.

Interview with Chloë Filson

Self: Good evening, Chloë. How are you doing today?

Chloë Filson: You should know; you've been around for years. Ever since I was born, really.

Self: How very true. So, I have a few questions for you, Chloë. You up for it?

Chloë Filson: Sure. Shoot.

Self: How do you feel about this whole Andrew Smith cyberchase?

Chloë Filson: Well at first I thought it was both awesome and hilarious. Sam was absolutely correct when he commented that I "would adore this kind of thing".

Self: Yes he was, wasn't he. And how do you feel about it now?

Chloë Filson: I'm pretty amazed that this level of hilarity and awesomeness has managed to endure for this long. I would think that something of this magnitude would have fizzled out much longer ago. I'm impressed with the stamina.

Self: And what do you think of the content of both sites?

Chloë Filson: In the case of blogs, the lack of tone of voice necessitates hyperbole of language to maintain an obvious level of good clean hilarity, which I think both sites have managed to do successfully up until recently.

Self: What happened recently? Are you possibly referring to the posting of your address along with the satellite photo of your house?

Chloë Filson: No. I was a bit off-put when I first saw that post, but after I looked at the picture and realized that it was from such a distance, I understood that it was much more funny than disturbing.

Self: So then are you referring to the two recent posts about two different people feeling "uncomfortable" around you?

Chloë Filson: Why, yes! How on earth did you know that?!

Self: Well I am you, after all.

Chloë Filson: Ah yes. There is that.

Self: So? What are you referring to those two posts about?

Chloë Filson: To be quite honest, it doesn't really feel that great to hear that you've made people feel uncomfortable or awkward, especially since I would never intentionally make anyone feel that way.

Self: No, it wouldn't feel great.

Chloë Filson: And also, the second of the two was posted not a day after I posted my friendly disclaimer. I felt I had done some good in establishing no hard feelings, and then I saw the post about Dave. First impressions are always awkward! I'm always a bit shy at the beginning because I'm scoping out the scene. And I would be exponentially more shy when scoping the scene of the new(ish) boyfriend of a good friend.

Self: Totally understandable.

Chloë Filson: I just feel as though I've been very careful to give Andrew Smith the benefit of the doubt, and I haven't recently been feeling that he has given me the same. I never wanted this to become a war. I still don't want it to become a war. I am still willing, of course, to be friends, and I am still willing to assume that he means no harm and is only aiming to be exaggerated and funny. But right now I have only an assumption.

Self: So what would you say to Andrew Smith if you could?

Chloë Filson: Hmmm. Okay: It would be great if you could either refrain from telling the world that I make people feel uncomfortable (particularly because I clearly don't mean to do it), or if you insist on doing so, at least be more blatantly hyperbolic in the way that you do so, so that I stop feeling hurt and pick up on the intended humour.

Self: Anything else?

Chloë Filson: I still think you're awesome and I still want to meet you, despite your unintentionally disheartening comment about possibly not wanting to meet me. See? Benefit of the doubt. It's all I ask.

Self: Well, it's been wonderful to have you here. In my body. And house. I look forward to seeing you again. Likely in a mirror. Have a lovely evening.

Chloë Filson: You as well. Goodnight.

Veronica and Brittany are Weirdos

This just in: Veronica and Brittany are both big weirdos. I thought it important to notify the public of this.

Belated Disclaimer

Before it's too late, and before either of us steps over the furthest line (which hopefully will never happen), I would like to disclaim the following:

I do not wish to hurt Andrew Smith's feelings, fracture his ego, publish slander about him, poke him in the proverbial eyes with my outrageous speculation, spread rumours, backbite in any way (!), or otherwise harm Andrew Smith or his family / friends / acquaintances / et. al.

Most of what is posted here is highly outrageous speculation, and is meant to be funny rather than hurtful. I will never outright lie, and everything is based on truth (or what I assume to be truth from whom I assume to be reasonably trustworthy sources); the outrageous speculation is on purpose, and is my greatest defense against similar outrageous speculation that goes on at WhoIsChloeFilson?. It is truly meant to be all in good fun.

If at any point I do step over the line into any of the aforementioned inappropriate uses of this forum, I would hope that all you wonderful kids out there in radioland (cyberspace) would leave comments calling me on it. Hopefully that will never happen; if it does, it certainly will have been unintentional.

Finally, I must say that I am pretty excited to meet Andrew Smith, and I hope that we get along and can be friends. I hope he feels to some degree that he has met his match, because I know that personally I have very much appreciated his intelligence, eloquence, and humour.
Aww, how sweet.

Andrew Smith Involved in Hostage Situation

I received the following e-mail from an old classmate of Andrew Smith's:

I went to Nancy Campbell for a period of time when such characters like
Andrew Smith, Chris Gammage, and Robin Procter attented the school also. One
birthday of Chris, his (aforementioned) friends blindfolded him, tied him up
and drove him around (once to the Nancy residence, which is where I entered
the scene). Somebody put a condom over his hand, since they were tied. I
believe this was done by a Noah Rothfeder. I remember this because I took
photos. I do not know who drove on this occasion-- it could have been
Andrew, or Robin. But Andrew was involved, that is a fact.

On a more positive note, the first time I heard the bands Choke and Moneen,
it was because of Andrew (and Chris).

One time I went to the Smith house, and I found it very nice and welcoming.
I enjoyed myself. I think the Smiths are good people. My relationship with
Mr. Smith was that of a teacher/student, and my relationship with Andrew and
Melanie was of fellow students.

I hope my perspective on and memories of Andrew Smith have helped.
Maaike Brender a Brandis
Regina, Saskatchewan


I really appreciate your help, Maaike!
I wonder what the "nice and welcoming" Smith household thinks of Andrew Smith's outrageous shenanigans?

It seems that either there is just less dirt on me, or fewer people know me. Because the dirt on Andrew Smith is flying in from all sides!